The One Winged Angel

2005-08-18T20:58:00.000+09:00

Been busy.

Hey people! hows it been? I have`nt posted for a while now because

Ive been very busy. Anyway, I`m passing my ateneo de manila application

form tomorrow. Then by the way, Im again addicted to Ragnarok Online.

Oh, what a life.

-jP

2005-07-21T20:18:00.000+09:00

Why?

Fuck this life. Why are they forcing me to og somewhere I dont

want to go to? Why are they urging me to be somewhere else which doesnt

make me happy? I was an atenean. Till they kicked me out because I was

uber liberal, and they teach liberalism. What the hell is wrong with

these people. They tell us to speak our minds! and they hate us for

that? fuck it.

Honestly speaking. I dont

have the spirit anymore. Atenean? fuck it, they always think that they

are right. WTF. Now, if they still urge me more which I cant really

take? Fuck it, I`ll give up this lifestyle. I can give everything up

just for my happiness. And my happiness is to not to go to wherel which

I dont wanna go. But the thing is. I dont have a choice.

I aint happy. Fuck this life.

2005-07-13T23:47:00.000+09:00

I LOVE TO STUDY.

Damn. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY.I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY. I LOVE TO STUDY.I

LOVE TO STUDY. thats what I always tell myself right now! because I

really need to study. In three months time I`ll be having my Ateneo de

Manila Entrance Test along with my cousin JC. And my adrenaline right

now is rushing for my studies. Well anyway. Wish me luck people. I need

you prayers for strength and patience to study well. anyways. Love you

all!

PEACE OUT!

-jP

Currently Reading: My MSA Reviewer

2005-07-03T23:21:00.000+09:00

Go Karts.

Hahaha. Just got started with a new hobby. Its Kart Racing. I set up the second fastest lap time. My brother Mark got the fastest Lap. But I won in the Rankings. I was 1st to finish. Then next to me was my brother Mark, next to him was Jr, then in 4th was JC, next to JC was Jun then Patrick on 6th. Well, I hope I`d win next week.

-jP

2005-06-26T01:29:00.000+09:00

Some updates.

Alright, havent posted for such a long time coz, I got sooo busy

with school and got myself talkin to this girl which I will write about

later.

Well, 1st, 1st day of school was nice, I got myself hanging out with some TOTALLY

stupid and big people. Which makes me stupid also and I dont know why

Im hanging out with them. But well, school is nice, and I also got this

very strict economics teacher. Were in good terms coz Im such a good

boy. But what freaks me out is that this STUPID filipino teacher of mine who told me I was cheating, man, I tell you, she will be jobless forever. Its a long story.

2nd,

is I got myself talking everyday to this girl, and I dont know why ? Is

is because she has this really good voice, or is it because she has

this perfect figure or is it that shes just sooo kind to me? I really

dont know, but whatever the reason is, its enough to convince everyone

why im talking to this girl.

Well, Last but

not the least. I think my beatboxing career is just starting and I cant

believe people love it when I beatbox, especially during party times

every friday. Well, gotta keep my talent going on. Who might know? I`ll

get rich doing this. :P

I`m sleepy. Catch ya later guys. :P

-jP

Currently Listening: First date

2005-06-11T03:19:00.000+09:00

Over and Over

"Cause it�s all in my head

I think about it over and over again

And I can�t keep picturing you with him

And it hurts so bad

Cause it�s all in my head

I think about it over and over again

I replay it over and over again

And I can�t take it, I can�t shake it no"

Damn

that just hits me so much. Well, a few minutes ago. Well, hours I

think. Karen was in the bar, and there was this bitch ass crazy guy

who`s very "EPAL TO THE MAXIMUM LIMIT" he was bitchin himself with the

one I love (yeah, you got it right). Well then, I dont wanna be such a

source of anger and misunderstanding 'Cause I know Karen seems like to

enjoy their conversations. So everytime this guy talks to Karen I just

leave and take another seat. And everytime that BITCH guy leaves,

Someone pulls me back to Karen, and then again, that bitch guy comes

over again. And then I leave. Well, that LIFE biatch. I HOPE YOU DIE.

-jP

2005-06-05T16:48:00.000+09:00

Finally!

Oh man! Finally! I got my 5 minute Beatbox act formulated. I`d be

posting a downloadable version in here later when I have a time to

record it and post it here. Well, ciao!

We ROCKZZZ!

-jP

2005-06-02T04:08:00.000+09:00

I met this/these Girl/s...

Just came home from the bar because JR was having a party for his friend Ryu who`s birthday was just hours ago. Anyway this girls was in the party. I think I`m falling for this girl called may. She`s nice, truthfull, simple and very adoring. And also Sharon. Shes very nice. Also, Jalel was there. Shes such a hot and beautiful woman. Well anyway. I`m sleepy. And I need to sleep ya`ll.

PEACE OUT!

-jP

2005-06-01T18:11:00.000+09:00

SM.

Well, this day. Me and Jr Went to Southville for his enrollment. After that we went to SM. He dropped me by the ATM machines so that I can withdraw some money. After that we met at The Barber shop inside SM. And I left him for a moment to buy some of my brothers stuff he told me to buy. Then after buying those stuff I went back up to JR but we met near the elevators then we got our selves a Derma. I never knew derma (Facial) hurts like hell in the face. Well anyway we got out and spent P330 for the derma. And we went to KFC to eat and then we went back home.

Hehehe, My blackheads and pimples are gone. :P

-jP

2005-05-28T11:26:00.000+09:00

Yeah. Its True.

"There`s always that one person

that will always have your heart,

You`ll never see it coming `Coz

You blinded from the start."

Thats a line from the song "My Boo" by Usher and Alicia Keys. I can really relate to that line. Well, dont ask. Its already there.

-jP

Currently Listening: My boo.

2005-05-26T09:14:00.000+09:00

Star Wars.

We watched star wars episode 3 yesterday. It was great!

-jP

2005-05-23T14:25:00.000+09:00

We are CHAMPS!

We won at Valley 10 last night!

WE ARE CHAMPS IN VALLEY 10!

Time to show off in the Junior NBA Tournament this coming 2 weeks!

-jP

2005-05-22T12:23:00.000+09:00

Quake 3. And yeah Game 2!

I just downloaded quake 3 arena. And Yeah, its Cool. Got myself playing with it for hours. And also, game 2 in Valley 10 is today 5 pm.

-jP

2005-05-21T23:10:00.000+09:00

Just one more. :P

We Just won game 1 of the Best of 3 Championship in Valley 10! Just One more win and we`re CHAMPS!

Here`s An Update :

Camella (Ximex Team) : 10 - 0 [1st in Standings : Champions]

Don Galo (Weevils Team) : 2 - 2 [4th in Standings : Eliminated]

Valley 10 (Ximex All Star Team) : 6 - 0 [1st inStandings]

Well thats about all of it.

-jP

2005-05-21T16:36:00.000+09:00

Ready for St. Andrews.

Well, I passed the Interviews and tests. Last thing for me to do is to enroll this monday and I`m to be officially called as an Andrean.

-jP

2005-05-20T13:58:00.000+09:00

Its 12:59!

Gotta go for my interview!

2005-05-20T13:20:00.000+09:00

Thats Ok.

Well, I just arrived from St. Andrews School to take my entrance tests and interviews. Well, I was ok, The test was kinda easy, And the people were good and kinda friendly. I just returned home for lunch and I`ll be coming back this 1:30pm for the last Interview. And Whala! Im in the school. Thanks to my uncle! Tito Joey and the never ending support of my Father.

Hope things go out well for me and St. Andrews School.

-jP

2005-05-19T10:21:00.000+09:00

My First Live performance.

Phew! I loved last night! It was awesome! Last night, I just had my first live performance with a band, I was on Beatbox of course, Mark (My brother) was on guitar, Jr (My Cousin) was on drums, Jc (also My Cousin) was on Vocals. It was nice even though we had less practice, we still did a very good performance last night for our Tito Joey`s Birthday.

-jP

Currently Listening: Noypi

2005-05-15T14:59:00.000+09:00

Some updates.

Alright, in Valley 10. Were already 5-0 in standings. Thats Currently 1st place. And Game 1 of the finals will be this coming Tuesday. Its a best of 3 series between XDE All Stars (Us) and the Black shit team. Heres an update of the standings.

Camella (Ximex Team) : 10 - 0 [1st in standings : Champions]

Don Galo (Weevils Team) : 2 - 2 [4th in standings : Eliminated]

Valley 10 (Ximex All Star Team) : 5 - 0 [ 1st in standings ]

And in other stuff. Me and Verna just broke up last night. Nah, I dont wanna talk bout it no more. Kinda shitty stuff or reasons behind it. And I think Im in love with a girl. Her name is Karen, though I met her only twice but I think Im really falling for that Karen girl.

What else? hmmm.. Oh yeah, I bought a new ankle brace. Because Im recuperating from my ankle injury. I think thats about all of it. Ciao~ !! Later!

-jP

Currently Watching: my monitor.
Currently Reading: nothing.
Currently Listening: My Beatbox recording.

2005-05-07T23:43:00.000+09:00

What a fee!

Well, this morning, we came from Quezon city to enroll in MSA, for our college entrance exam in Ateneo this coming October. And I cant believe how much they charge for their short time service. They Charged Me and JC P22,000. That`s P11,000 each, and its just like 9 days of review. Well, I`m that lucky to get that oppurtunity that was given to me.

-jP

Oryt, heres the pics.

2005-04-06T11:50:00.000+09:00

Here are some pics we have taken in boracay. I just posted the ones which my face is shown. hahhaha!

Pics :

http://tinypic.com/2lnt5i
http://tinypic.com/2lntbk
http://tinypic.com/2lntco
http://tinypic.com/2lntdv
http://tinypic.com/2lnteg
http://tinypic.com/2lnthz
http://tinypic.com/2lntis
http://tinypic.com/2lntlc
http://tinypic.com/2lntom

Oryt.. I just put on the links. It would take too much space.

-jP
-Sephiroth

:)

2005-04-02T11:24:00.000+09:00

Im wearing yellow today. :)

-jP
-Sephiroth

Im tired..

2005-03-28T23:54:00.000+09:00

Weve been to boracay for almost a week and im so damned tired. I`ll update this later.

-jP
-Sephiroth

Damn sprain...

2005-03-19T19:34:00.000+09:00

Hell yeah.. the topic says it all. Well, to recap, We were playing basketball then at one point I slipped then there it goes.. The swelling, and Oh, the PAIN!

The Bad shit thing is that someone in the household was telling me to do this and do that while I had the oh-so-painful-sprain.

-jP
-Sephiroth

Not destined to be...

2005-03-18T09:27:00.000+09:00

first time i saw you..
i know i've fallen for you..
your smile and your eyes...
just captures the beauty of a bright blue sky...
i wanna be with you everyday...
coz when i'm with you, you make my day...
you make me smile when i'm down...
you turn my frown upside down...
thats why it's hard to say goodbye...
ohh it hurts to say goodbye..
especially when the girl is special to you..
thats why it's hard to let go...
even if i try to make me feel that you are the one
for
me..
if the two of us wasnt meant to be...

*this is not mine, just copied this from friendster

-jP
-Sephiroth

My boo..

2005-03-17T09:01:00.000+09:00

"Usher:
There's always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause
you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby, you will always be my boo

Alicia Keys:
I don't know about y'all but I
know about us and uhh it's the only way we know how to rock (repeat)

Usher Verse
Do you remember girl, who was
he one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl who was the one
who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and people screaming your name
Girl I was there and you were my baby

Chorus:
Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over but its'
still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright
(it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while,
but you will always be my boo

Alicia
Now if you loved when we were younger you were mine
And when I see from time to
time I still feel like, (that's my baby)
And if I see you no matter how I try to hide (I can't hide it)
And even though there's another man who's in my life, you will always be my boo

Alicia Verse
Yes I remember boy, cause after we
kissed I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy, the moment
I knew you were the one I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame and people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

Chorus:
Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over but its'
still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright
(it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while,
but you will always be my boo

Bridge
My ooh my ohh my ohh my ohh my boo (repeat)

Chorus:
Usher
It started when we were younger and you were mine (my boo)
Now another brothers' taken over but its'
still in your eyes (my boo)
Even though we use to argue it's alright
(it's alright girl, that's okay)
And if we haven't seen each other in a while,
but you will always be my boo

Alicia
I don't know about y'all but I know about us and uhh it's
the only way we know how to rock (repeat)"

I can relate myself to this...

I love yah!

-jP
-Sephiroth

Gotta get over it..

2005-03-16T10:16:00.000+09:00

Alright, its been quite a while when we broke up, and I came to realize this crying and self pitying will lead me no where and will not take her back. Now, its time to move on. No love life for me now, just a plain old jP now, trying to cope up with life. I feel stronger now, Im so thankful to her.

Thanks to u.. ü

-jP
-Sephiroth

Leavin'...

2005-03-15T06:18:00.000+09:00



"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breaking it's early morning
The taxi is waiting, he is blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome, I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for me
Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

There is so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go I think of you
Every song I sing I sing for you.
When I come back I wear your wedding-ring


So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for me
Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go


Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes, and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
I wont have to leave alone, and I
wont have to say:


So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you wait for me
Hold me like you never let me go

I'm leaving on a jetplane,
I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,
I don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm leaving on a jetplane,
I don't know when I'll be back again.

Oh babe I hate to go"

Allright, its Tuesday. Therefore I`m leaving for Manila,
I cant believe I`m really leaving Cagayan de Oro, it was just
like yesterday when I had my 1st step here, now, I`m really
leaving for good. Well, Its my brothers graduation, so its a
MUST to attend, but I`ll just be gone for a while. Its not a
permanent leave or something, I`ll be out just for a while.
And Verna, I hope you understand, I`m not leaving YOU
or something, I`m just out for a while. Anyway, Its like, 10
Hours Left `til I Lift off, so that means I have to pack my
things. (Thats Right, Im not that good in saying goodbyes).
Well, no goodbyes for now, I`m coming back anyway. :)

I`ll miss you.. Yes, you too.. the most..

-jP
-Sephiroth

Verna..

2005-03-14T06:42:00.000+09:00

Where shall I hide from all the pain which consume me? what will I do so the pain will hunt me no more? in what circumstance should there be so that pain will last no more? Is there ways so that thee may kill thy pain? Verna, *me* loves you, and theres nothing you or anyone else can do about it. But who am I to force you? I`m just a nobody. Hell yeah, Nobody`s perfect, and I`m a nobody?! does that make me perfect? Yes, perfectly in love with you.

I`m hopelessly in love with you.

-jP
-Sephiroth

My cute purple ring...

2005-03-13T11:56:00.001+09:00

Well, I this is my cute purple ring, I bought two of these, And I gave the other one to verna. I bought this because its our favorite color and I want to give her something everytime. We wear it on the fourth finger from the thumb on the right hand which is also called the special finger (the one they put the wedding rings on). I hope it`ll stay that way forever, just like a family.

"Yeah you bleed just to know your alive" - Goo Goo Dolls, Iris

-jP
-Sephiroth

She`s the one...

2005-03-12T16:11:00.000+09:00

Yes, that her. The person which I truly love. The one person that will always be in my heart forever. The one person that I will LOVE, CHERISH and CARE for forever. I miss that girl so much. I miss "us". I miss the times when we call each other. Making each others fones ring. Hugging each other, giving each other a kiss. Calling each other "boo", "bheybi", "lablab" and etc. I also missed the days in camella. The days in **** S*******. The days we had in M********. And damn, I miss all of it. I`d die.

I`d die for you. I love you.

-jP
-Sephiroth

My plane ticket..

2005-03-12T15:30:00.000+09:00

Well, I got my plane ticket. Its like, I`ll be leaving for Manila this Tuesday because its my brothers graduation (Yo bro, Congratulations! You blue eagle you!). Anyway Its like, I`m gonna be on a third flight which is Scheduled 2:50pm. And I Hate third flights. Darn it, Third flights gives me the creeps. Because, its like the last time it will be used for the day, and im afraid it might crash or something because its like been overused (which people tell me its not true, bwahahha!). Well, anyway, Im gonna miss Cagayan de Oro, Especially this girl I love so much, well, her name is Aemily Verna Gonzales Macarandan to be specific. I love her so much, Im gonna miss her, well, I miss her so much now, I`ll see you later Verna, (I`ll be back). Anyway, Im still gonna do some programming.

I`m gonna miss you.. yes you..

-jP
-Sephiroth

Playing wih chanserv.. fun fun fun!

2005-03-12T08:08:00.000+09:00

[07:09:40] [@jpibanez] ChanServ u sux
[07:09:49] • Kick: (ChanServ) was kicked by (jpibanez) (Chanserv)
[07:09:49] • Join: (ChanServ) (ChanServ@services.z4znet.com)
[07:09:49] • Mode: (services.z4znet.com) sets (+o ChanServ)
[07:09:53] [@jpibanez] shit
[07:10:03] • Mode: (jpibanez) sets (-o ChanServ)
[07:10:03] • Part: (ChanServ) (ChanServ@services.z4znet.com)
[07:10:03] • Join: (ChanServ) (ChanServ@services.z4znet.com)
[07:10:03] • Mode: (services.z4znet.com) sets (+o ChanServ)
[07:10:07] [@jpibanez] dammit

Im sad

2005-03-11T19:23:00.000+09:00

Im so sad today.

The Odin Project

2005-03-10T14:45:00.000+09:00

Allright, just yesterday. I was browsing the NET. Then, I saw the Link on MaSs_ZeRo`s Signature on fusion to the new Odin site. So I decided to check it out. Then As I was surfing on the site. I read about they were goin' short on Devs and I saw this application form of some sort. So I mailed it to the admin`s. Then A moment later. One thing I realized. I was already in the Dev team. So anyways, thanks to them and the rest of the team to let me in to the project.

Here`s the Link. http://odin.ragnaspot.com

Thanks again.

-jP
-Sephiroth

A closer look at a distant heart...

2005-03-09T07:11:00.000+09:00

Nice title huh? got it from the book we made "Rebirth" .. Well, I chose that title for this entry because I want to look deep inside of me. My heart is so far to anyone. There is this distance which hinders others to look inside me. I have been acting like an animal and look like it. But What the fuck do they know? they dont know me yet, before you judge me, look inside of me more closer and deeper. But who is to blame? I dont even know myself, thats why I need to look closer at my distant heart.

Love me,

-jP
-Sephiroth

Why cant I?

2005-03-08T17:34:00.000+09:00

Why cant I forget her? Damn, I tried so hard not to crowd her. I tried so hard to keep myself busy just to get over it because I know I dont want to crowd her? I tried to be with the computer all the time, ***NOT WORKING***. I tried to go out with my best friends, again ***NOT WORKING***. I tried to sleep, but I cant sleep! and then again... ***NOT WORKING***. Oh man. I guess I`ll just be like this forever unless she gets me back. I love that Girl so much. STUPID me.

Stupid of me to let go of her...

-jP
-Sephiroth

a blessing.. not...

2005-03-08T06:22:00.000+09:00

There is one thing I have realized since I was alone. There was a somekind of a realization. When I was dropped out in my former school, it was like a blessing to me, because firstly, I met my ex-GF in CCS, and spent the most wonderful 8 months in my life, felt the love that I never felt before. Secondly, I was more serious about my life and my studies, I was a bit of a more "grown person". I was true to myself. But now, this happened, me and my Gf broke up, Is there any reason behind it? as they say "everything happens for a reason", what the hell is the reason for this? I would`nt want to know, I`d rather have her back. Even if the reason would benefit me a lot. I would`nt have that, because I`d rather have her. But what if? It would benefit her more?

Questions, questions, and more questions! why cant I answer them?

-jP
-Sephiroth

One Winged Angel...

2005-03-07T06:07:00.000+09:00

Estuans interius
ra vehementi
Estuans interius
ra vehement
Sephiroth
Sephiroth
Estuans interius
ra vehementi
Estuans interius
ra vehement
Sephiroth
Sephiroth
Sors immanis
et inanis
Sors immanis
et inanis
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Sephiroth
Sephiroth
Veni, veni, venias
ne me mori facias
Glorioso generosa
Glorioso generosa

This is my song. The "one winged angel" composed by Nobuo Uematsu. Some of the meanings are "Burning inside with violent anger" , "Fate -- monstrous and empty", "Come, come, oh come do not let me die" and "Glorious and noble one". Tsusai gave me a copy of the song. Im gonna find a host or something, or maybe I can ask alex to put the song on his list so it could be available for everyone to download. I will.

Thanks.

-jP
-Sephiroth

This Lullaby.. I love it..

2005-03-07T04:21:00.000+09:00

Queens of The Stone Age - This Lullaby - Download the Song here...

"Where O where have you been my love?
Where O where can you be?
It’s been so long, since the moon has gone.
And O what a wreck you’ve made me.
Are you there over the ocean?
Are you there, up in the sky?
Until the return of my love
This lullaby

My Hope is on the horizon
Every face, it’s your eyes i can see
I plead, i pray through each night & day
Our Embrace is only a dream.
And as sure as days come from moments
Each hour becomes a life’s time
When she’d left, i’d only begun this lullaby"

I Love this song so much. I can relate it to myself singing it. I found it on Alex's Journal. Even the download link is his. I love the song so much..

Thanks alex,

-jP
-Sephiroth

Is this a lie?…

2005-03-07T03:17:00.000+09:00

What is my life? Is my life just a lie? Is my life made of legitimate entourage through my mothers womb without questioning the identity of me and my parents? Am I who I think I am? Are there enough reasons why I should abide and face reality as it is shown in the World? Are there any questions that will forever be left unanswered? Or are there even Questioned that can never be answered? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of my life? Why am I spawned? Why Am I here? Why am I?

I`d Like to know, Is this what I think it is?

-jP
-Sephiroth

The Dunk…

2005-03-06T23:29:00.000+09:00

Well, an hour ago we went to our friends house to play basketball, since the main basketball court of the village was filled up with bullies. Anyway, when we arrived there, we got dressed up to play some hoops. Then we started sweating, then we played so damn well, and at one point of the game my adrenaline rush was so intense, that when I got the ball, I flied SO HIGH that my head reached the height of the ring, then BOOM! the DUNK! damn, I loved that dunk so hell yeah, Hahaha, thats so damn well, and then I fell then my friends rushed to me, Damn, I just wished I got that dunk on camera, I got get drafted in the NBA or something, (hahaha, dream on fool!) Anyway, Thats is for the Dunk, My friends were talking about it when we were on our way home, that dunk was the best of the dunk`s I ever had.

Face your fears, Live your dreams.

-jP
-Sephiroth

Goodbye to you...

2005-03-06T14:17:00.000+09:00

"Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"

Thats the chorus of the song by Michelle branch "Goodbye to you". I can really relate to those lines, especially the last two lines, "You were the one I love" yes, she was the only one I loved, I loved her so much, I never loved someone like that before, she was the only one that I loved for such a long time, so much love that I could give her the freedom she wants, I love that girl so much, and I`d love her forever. Next line, "The one thing that I tried to hold on to" Yeah, thats right, she was the only one, and to over emphasize, THE ONLY ONE That I have been holding on for so long, but I had to let her go. But anyways, good luck to her and her life, may she find the best person that suites her.

Best wishes,

-jP
-Sephiroth

Its easier to run.. yes it is...

2005-03-06T11:24:00.000+09:00

"If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave"


Well, I can really relate that song to my life, especially the lines in
parenthesis. Damn, "If I could change I would take back the pain
I would" yes, I`d do that, theres so many things I need to change
about me. Dammit, and also I want to take back all the pain that
I gave her and to myself. (harharhar) Now dont look at me, dont
blame me, I fell in love, oh man. Im blabbering. Well its a great song.
Try it.. ;)

I love her very much..

-jP
-Sephiroth

Mum Laughed...

2005-03-06T11:11:00.000+09:00

Well, my mom called this morning, then she told me if I was excited for manila. Then I told her that I was so excited, then she told me, for what will happen to us (me and Verna), well then, I told her I called it off (our relationship), then she laughed, why I called it off, she said I should have waited for her to call it off, well then, I told her, I needed to call it off. She asked why, then I told her there were things in my life and in her life that are'nt just meant to be. Well then she was also worried of me with a sarcastic tone, that what will Verna`s parents do to me, since verna`s parents were converting to Islam (you know how discriminative Catholics can be). Well, I told her that Verna cant do that to me, she would protect me, because she loves me, (and I hope that love will last forever). Anyway that was about it, Then she remained amused and laughed. :)

well well, I dont care, let the laughing festival begin. ;)

-jP
-Sephiroth

PS: I`m not laughing with them.

The 8th Poem She sent me..

2005-03-06T08:25:00.000+09:00

"Never Have I Fallen

Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen
But I am quickly on my way
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away"

It was January 23rd of 2005 when she sent me this, damn shit. The thought alone that she`s gone is killing me. Well, what can I do? I could`nt force her, dammit, one thing I realized is, this song, its true "You dont know what you got til its gone" well, I knew what I got, but now she`s gone, It just hurts me more and more. What in the World can I do to take her back? well, its goodbye for me.

Pls do come back anytime you want.. yes you..

I love you,

-jP
-Sephiroth

Renzokukened Heart...

2005-03-06T06:58:00.000+09:00

Renzokukened. Yes, Ive been renzokukened (the skill that cloud used to kill me) by my ex-girlfriend. Shit, this hurts so much. I cant understand what Im feeling. I want to get her back, I shouldnt have cleared it off, ah, bullshit. I know She wont come back. I just wish though. Man, that girl is one of a kind, she`s stuck in my heart, she makes me, feel the love that I never had. But shit, I just let go of her, stupid of me. Dammit. I shouldnt have done that. But, What the hell, I love that girl so much. Even if there are the oh-so-redundant-so-many Consents to be considered. Shit, I should just have made that pass by, now look at me. Im so incomplete right now. There are things that I miss so0o0o much. Dammit, If I could just turn back the time, I shouldnt have let her go.

Fuck this, I hate myself, Im just wondering where do I go now.

-jP
-Sephiroth

Nothing compares...

2005-03-06T06:57:00.000+09:00

Nothing compares to the sweetness of this girl and the love she has given to me, even if my consents were that hurting, its not always that. There is also a side of here that made me love her, but of course? why should I be saving our relationship those last months if I didnt love her? I love her so much. Well anyway, She has that effect on me, even right now, Im still so in love with her and I would always will love her forever, I wont crowd her now, I know this hurts, but shit me, I need her to be open to other relationships, I dont want her to mind me, even if it hurts, I dont want her to think that I`m depriving her. But anyway, she has that smile that I`m always gonna miss and the worries she gives, damn, Im gonna miss that. That nights that we had, the phone calls, the way she calls me "boo" "bheybi" "lablab" and all other.. damn.. Im gonna miss those. If there`s just any way to take her back, but I doubt it, I still want her to be mine forever, but I dont think she wants me in return. But if she would, I would be always open for her, she`ll be my forever true love. Damn, she`s the one. Well, anyway, I need to end this now, bhubye, I`ll just be updating this post. There`s many things that are left unsaid.

-jP
-Sephiroth

A True Falcon...

2005-03-05T18:28:00.000+09:00

Allright, this made my day a littile brighter. Well, I was walkin downtown, then I saw my Falconian Brothers, they did`nt recognize me at first then, a little while they called me, then they asked me to join them since there was a general assembly, (which I did`nt know because I was inactive for a very very long while) then I joined them (that was after when I bought the ink that my dad asked me), then we were talking about lot of stuff. Then there were groups of us, some were from xavier, some were from our school, some were from lourdes, then some were from xavier college. After that, damn, I was Appointed as The Grand Acquilifer for Corpus Christi School( yeah thats my school), (Grand Acquilifer = President) then there I was, in the end of the meeting, I got myself the rank, then when I got home I refilled the Ink cartridge with the Ink that I bought. Then I was supposed to send my girlfriend an SMS message, but she got me 1st. Were having some problems right now, but well, Here goes nothing! :)

-jP
-Sephiroth

I hate this easy life...

2005-03-05T15:51:00.000+09:00

Alright, today was`nt a fine day. 1st I woke up with a toothache, and then, my father`s head was all over himself, he was`nt on his mind,it was like, his head was boiling like water and affecting us all in the house, then, I sent an SMS msg. to my Girlfriend, but there was`nt any reply so I Disconnected after that. Then Took a bath, then dressed up, I was supposed to leave then my father told me to go with him, so I waited for about an hour and a half because he was still taking a bath. After that, he dressed up for about thirty minutes, oh I was so freaked out. Then after that, we got on our way, my dad dropped me in my school, then he was on his way to work. Well, me, I went to the nearest payphone to call my Girlfriend, I called her but she did'nt answer, then I walked to a bakery but then my dad was there, he decided not to go to work, George, was also there, so we went to Xavier High School to get my transcript of records for my 1st and second year grades in Xavier. Then I saw all my former classmates (well, not all of them, some of them though). But theres nothing great about meeting them again, then I got to the registrars office, then got my Transcript, then we went back to my school, in CCS. Then we got the transcript passed to the registrar, then I called my girlfriend, then talked to her, then she was on this CD store and internet Cafe along with her friends (Which she told me that was`nt around because she was alone). Then I told my dad to drop me there, then he dropped me there, we talked for a while though, then he went away, but he left George(which I didnt know because dad was so defensive, he does`nt want me to go anywhere, well thats life! [",] ) Then, I met my GF and was surprised that she was with her Friends, then I got on with a computer, then started chatted with my Girlfriend, after that, we went out of the Cafe, then I realized that my uncle was there along with George, they were talking to each other, we got a bit further from there because I dont want to let them see that I was with my Girl, then I let my GF ride the taxi, I was supposed to go with her, but shit, I couldnt, George was there, he already saw me, anyway, we got home, (me and george) then he reported to dad what happened, that Me and my girlfriend was out in the Iinternet Cafe, then my dad scolded me a bit. Then and of the story. There. Thats about it for this day, its still 3:50pm maybe ill add up a bit later, because my dad is asking me to buy some ink for the printer. So ciao!

-jP
-Sephiroth